June to June

The bright lights of Vegas are the
Loneliest places on earth.
Crowded streets,
Sweat,
People brushing and shoving
Their washed-up nylon dreams into
The comfort of another.
A coin in a slot.
Risking and
Wishing for luck.
For change.
To become someone new in
The color of neon.

Give me instead the
Quiet smell of coffee
And your cologne on
That morning before the rain.
A warm place to call my own.

Ride of Passage

Learning to ride a bike.
A rite of passage.
Ready or not, here I come.
Metal bars between my legs,
The feel of the slick vinyl on the banana seat.
But Jimmy’s bike is different than mine.
Mine is glittering red, two wheels now instead of four.
Tinseled handle bars blowing in the breeze—reflecting nature speeding by and
A delicate, white wicker basket for my flowers.
Jimmy’s bike is bigger.
His has a longer, straight bar
Made of steel,
Thick, treaded wheels,
Deep blue paint.
Because he’s stronger and will
Grow up more than me.
Because I am a girl.
That’s why mine sparkles in the sun and I have a basket for my flowers.
He will ride fast, and I will try to keep up.
We both learn to ride bikes.
But mine is different because I am a girl and
Jimmy is a boy.

Baby Shower

I'm a big girl today.
Today, I took a shower all by myself--because Mommy asked me.
She asked me and thinks I can do it.
I turned the frosted silver knob--not too hot she would say.
Be careful.
I am.

I'm a big girl today.
I made sure I washed every inch--twice.
I use soap and my scrub brush.
I let the water rinse me clean.
My skin is red and tingly.
I feel older.
I am.

I'm a big girl today.
When I turn the water off the cold air
Hits my skin.
I find my towel and my pajamas
Mommy laid out for me. I
Start to dry off the way Daddy showed me.
But I can do it now. Because I am big.
I hear Mommy on the phone.
She's sad.
I am too.

I'm a big girl today.
I hang up my towel and sit on my bed.
This is where I prayed to God for
A little brother. I prayed
so hard. Every night.
I am

Going to be a big sister again.
But Mommy's crying.
She said she has to go to the doctors with Daddy and
Grandma is coming over and I have to be a big girl and
Go to bed.
I do.

I'm a big sister once. But not twice.
Not anymore.
Mommy's baby is gone.
I feel older.
I am.